TV TRAVAILS

Old TV blows out, so you put up a new one…nothing to it, right?

That was the situation I faced the other morning after the set upstairs carrying ESPN kicked the bucket.  I knew the task wasn’t quite as easy as it sounded; the set would need audio outputs in order to feed sound into the Cardio Theater, and not all TVs have that feature.

So later that morning I swing by Target North so see what I can find.  The first thing I notice is there are no more “box” type sets; everything’s a flat panel.  So I’m a little worried that our wall mounts won’t be compatible.   Oh well, no choice but to forge ahead.  So I start looking at their selection of 26/27″ sets, and can find nothing with the audio jacks that I need.

Next I hit Target South.  They have a set with the outputs, but it has a built-in DVD player, a feature I don’t really need or want to pay for, so I pass on that.   So then later that day I try WalMart…strike three.

I know my son is driving home from Sacramento the next day, so I have him swing by Best Buy.  They have a set, but it’s more expensive than the set with the DVD player at Target, so I tell him to try Costco instead.  There the clerk finds him a set and insists that it will work, so he buys it.  Upon arrival I check it out and see that it doesn’t have what we need, so it will have to be returned.

At this point the set with the DVD player is looking pretty good, so I head over Target North (since it’s closer) to pick one up.  They don’t stock that set, so it’s back to Target South and the purchase is  finally made.  We get the set back here, unpack it, and put it up…and it looks way too small compared to the other TVs.   It’s several inches shorter, I guess because it is wide-screen and the others are not.  So that’s not going to work.

Pack it up, head back to Target South, where hopefully I can find a 33″ set.  While I’m waiting in line to return the 27″ set I pull my wallet out so I will have my receipt ready.  NO RECEIPT!  Now I start panicking, because I distinctly remember putting it in there.  I’m rifling through my pockets as my turn at the counter comes.  My mind is racing; “did I already file the receipt?”  I didn’t think I had.

I couldn’t return the set without proof of purchase, so I headed back to my truck, trying to replay the events of earlier that morning.  “I must have left it in the truck” I thought to myself.  But a quick search of my vehicle turned up nothing.  “I guess I must have taken it into my office”, I tried to convince myself.

Another quick search of my office turned up nothing.  “I’m losing my mind” was all I could think.  I replayed the entire scene.  I purchased the set at the electronics counter and put the receipt in my wallet.  As I walked to the front of the store I remember thinking “I may have to show my receipt when I exit the store”.  I remember it was in one hand as I left the store, the TV was in the other (those flat panels are light!)

So where did it go from there?  Not in my pockets, not in my wallet, not in my truck…..oh yeah, I was wearing a coat this morning.  Headed outside to my truck, found my coat, and sure enough…there was my receipt! 

By now I had experienced more TV shopping than I could stand, so I asked my wife to return the set and see if she could locate a suitable replacement.  A short time later she sent me a message confirming that she had successfully completed the mission.  HURRAY!

All that was left was to install the set.  As I had originally feared, it wouldn’t fit into the old-fashioned wall mounts we had.  But with a couple of relatively simple modifications and a couple of holes drilled into the TV’s stand we were back in business.  Nothing to it.

Weekend Reading Material

Bacon ice cream, bacon potato chips, bacon is everywhere it seems.  Celebrity chef  Tim Love says he’s had enough in his blog post Stop the Bacon Insanity.

Ladies, do you ever get frustrated by how easily men can shed pounds?   Here are 7 Ways to Lose Weight Like a Guy. 

Lastly, a subject that’s been getting a lot of publicity this week, but not much respect from the scientific community.  It’s the study that claims gene test can help determine what kind of diet will work best for you.

I’m Likin’ It, Bit I’m Not Eatin’ It!

Another Olympics has come and gone, thanks in large part to the financial contributions of The Olympic Partners (TOP).  These huge corporations pay up to $20 million dollars each to be the “official” sponsors of the games, and get to use the Olympic rings in their logo and advertisements.

Visa is the official credit card, Coke is the official soft drink, and McDonalds is the official restaurant.  If you watched any of the telecasts I’m sure you already knew that— their commercials were played over and over every night.  The McDonalds’ spots were particularly memorable.  They had commercials showing Olympic athletes endorsing their products, and another that told kids “you don’t have to be an Olympic athlete to eat like one”.  

Using the most fit and active athletes to promote products is nothing new, but this attempt to link fast food consumption with athletic performance is really pushing the boundaries.  Telling kids that Chicken Nuggets are the preferred food of Olympic athletes is both irresponsible and immoral.  This video is a better representation of what most athletes think of fast food, especially when they’re in training:

Going for the Big Buzz

Those of you who guzzle your afternoon pick-me-up by the quart will be pleased to note that Starbucks in test marketing a new 32 oz. Trenta size for their iced coffee beverages.

Now That’s a FUN Run!

Are you a Survivor fan?  CrossFit enthusiast?  Just looking for something wild, crazy, and out of the ordinary?  Here’s something that  you might enjoy then, it’s called Warrior Dash. 

It’s basically a 5k run with a dozen obstacles thrown in to make it interesting.   They’ll have you scrambling over hay bales, slithering through muddy swamps, and leaping over fire, followed by music and beer at the post-race party. 

There’s a race scheduled for our area next fall, so you have plenty of time to train and to get your costume in order!

Big Problems with Small Plates

Small plates of Mediterranean inspired foods, what else could you ask for?  Well here’s an amusing little tirade against tapas.

A Whopper, Fries, and a Beer?

Diners looking for burgers and beer may not have to find a sports bar if Burger King’s Whopper Bar catches on.  That’s one way to hang on to your customers as they grow up.  And check out the cool aluminum bottles!

Friday the 13th Food Funny

Thought maybe this might scare you out of overeating this weekend! Have fun and be safe out there.

Non-surgical Face-lift

Dammit Jack, my cheeks are sore as hell and I think I pulled an eyelid. You should warn people not to overdo it when you suggest this stuff:

Forget the Turducken, I’m Having a Porkgasm this Thanksgiving

You know the drill, Friday is always a “food” post to whet your appetite as we head into the weekend.  A word of warning though—just reading this article could be enough to trigger a massive coronary .  With that disclaimer out of the way, it’s now time to explore the ultimate creation in “swine dining”, the Porkgasm.

Don’t let his cute looks fool you…this pretty piggy packs a wallop.  There’s close to 15 pounds of sausage, bacon, pork shoulder, hot dogs, smoked jowls, and ham in this concoction.  It’s all lovingly assembled and artfully crafted to resemble a whole hog when it’s finished.  Then it spends a few hours in the smoker and comes out looking quite spectacular.

But the real genius of the Porkgasm is only evident when it’s time to dig in and eat.  When cut into slices, it looks just as realistic on the inside as it does on the outside.   It’s a rare dish that can give you both nightmares and a stomach ache, but this one just might do it!

If you’re ready to tackle this project, you can get a complete set of instructions here, courtesy of the fine folks at Porktopia.com.