Category Archives: Humor

OUR SHOPPING SPREE

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Precor AMT

It’s Black Friday and that seems like a good time to tell you about some of the exciting new things we’ve purchased for the Club.  It’s an extensive list and a lot of time and effort was involved.  There were lengthy deliberations and three different road trips, but the orders have all been placed.  We’re now anxiously awaiting delivery of a great selection of new strength equipment, as well as some nice upgrades for the cardio area.

 

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Stepmill

The big-ticket items for the cardio area are Precor’s newly improved AMTs.  We have several of the original versions of this machine already in place and they are very popular…smooth, easy to use, and a great workout.  The new models deliver all of this along with an increase in stride length  and more versatility in stride pattern.  You can do anything on these things…use it like a standard elliptical, a stair climber, or even simulate a running motion.   At a list price of over $10,000 each, you ought to be able to fly them like helicopters!  Additional changes planned for our cardio lineup includes the replacement of some older recumbent bicycles and the addition of two more Stepmills.

Downstairs the area that will see the most changes is the free weight/bench press room.  Virtually all of the older equipment in that room will be upgraded to brand new Hammer Strength units, including the benches and the Smith machine, and we’ll also be bringing back a military press.  There will be two new plate-loaded machines, an incline press and a “Jammer” that should be popular with both athletes and with those doing multi-chain exercises.

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Hammer Strength Jammer

The dumbbell area will also see quite a few changes.  Along with new thicker flooring under the dumbbell benches, the majority of the machines in this area will also be getting replaced.  This includes the big Body Master multi-station cable crossover.  It will make way for a unit from Life Fitness that is very similar but has some great additional features that make it quite a bit smoother and more functional.  It will have both a single and a dual pulley lat pulldown, and a dual pulley seated row.  The old piece served us well for many years, but it’s time for it to be retired and this new unit will be much nicer overall.

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Hammer Leg Press

We will also be squeezing a few select pieces into our stable of weight machines on the main floor and replacing a few others.  Lower body enthusiasts will be happiest about these changes, as among the new pieces there will be three different leg presses and a prone leg curl.  We’re making space for these additions by shrinking the lounge area back to its previous (before remodel) dimensions.  This won’t decrease seating capacity, it will just shift it closer to the front entry.

We sincerely feel that the addition of this new top-of-the-line strength equipment will give people using the main weight room a training experience that is  unsurpassed in both quality and variety.  Our hope is that these changes will also eliminate their need to use the weight room on the second floor, because major changes are going to be taking place there as well.  

Deciding on a strategy to re-equip the upstairs  training area gave us many challenges and was the driving factor behind the three road trips.  We are replacing every piece of equipment in that room and we wanted to make sure we got it right.  As our long-time members will remember, for its first decade or so we used that space as a women’s only area.  It gave novice users who weren’t comfortable in a coed environment someplace less intimidating to work out.  Love it or hate it, it was our imperfect solution to an imperfect world.  Then a few years ago someone threatened us with a discrimination lawsuit, so we had to open it up to everyone.  It wasn’t the end of the world, as the room’s users still tended to be novices and predominately female.

When our big remodel took place we made some equipment changes in that room;  we moved some very good older machines in there that we no longer had space for downstairs.   Memories of the past had faded and more and more men began finding their way up to use them.  Gradually and inadvertently the space lost its identity and it was no longer the quiet, safe haven it was intended to be.   So we’ve embarked on a plan to change that.  While we realize our plan may be a little controversial, our intention is to return that room to those exercisers who aren’t yet comfortable downstairs.  We plan to make it the best-equipped beginning weight training room possible. 

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Optima Leg Extension

Our search for the perfect equipment for this room was a little like  the story of Goldilocks.  The first line we looked at was just a little too basic and simple…we thought our members would expect more.   The second was a bit too advanced…we felt like there were too many adjustments and it was too close to what we already offered downstairs.  Finally on the third try we felt like we’d found the right fit, the Optima Series from Life Fitness.  It’s a solid line of equipment with a good selection of the most popular machines.  It will fit just about anyone with one or two simple adjustments, but it’s not quite as advanced or as heavy-duty as the equipment that’s downstairs.

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Optima Lat Pulldown

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Optima Dual Pulley w/ Touchscreen

The second part of reclaiming this room for beginners was determining how we could make it clear that this space was reserved for novice exercisers.  We already play mellower music in that area, but obviously that isn’t enough.  We joked about switching to a pink and baby blue color scheme, but that seems like overkill.  So instead we’re going to give the room a new name and hope that by posting it conspicuously on the wall everyone will get the point.  Once the new equipment is installed the upstairs weight room area will be called “starting strength“.

While we won’t be barring anyone from using this space, our intention in re-naming the room and bringing in a line of weight equipment more suitable for beginners is that the space will regulate itself.  When you add in all the great new equipment we’re adding downstairs, there really shouldn’t be any reason for someone that’s comfortable on the main floor to come upstairs looking for more.  We sincerely hope that this is the case, and that both our experienced users and our novices find a great selection of  fantastic equipment that suits their needs.

All of this new equipment is coming from several different manufacturers and will start arriving the first week in December.  Our hope is to have everything in place before we begin the new year.  We also have several projects scheduled (pool plastering, wall repairs, additional storage and cabinets installed) so things will be a bit hectic with selective closure of portions of the building.  Fortunately December is about as “quiet” of a month as we get around here in terms of Club usage, so you shouldn’t see any major disruptions.  Just plan to be a little flexible as we make these improvements and be prepared for some exciting changes.

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TV TRAVAILS

Old TV blows out, so you put up a new one…nothing to it, right?

That was the situation I faced the other morning after the set upstairs carrying ESPN kicked the bucket.  I knew the task wasn’t quite as easy as it sounded; the set would need audio outputs in order to feed sound into the Cardio Theater, and not all TVs have that feature.

So later that morning I swing by Target North so see what I can find.  The first thing I notice is there are no more “box” type sets; everything’s a flat panel.  So I’m a little worried that our wall mounts won’t be compatible.   Oh well, no choice but to forge ahead.  So I start looking at their selection of 26/27″ sets, and can find nothing with the audio jacks that I need.

Next I hit Target South.  They have a set with the outputs, but it has a built-in DVD player, a feature I don’t really need or want to pay for, so I pass on that.   So then later that day I try WalMart…strike three.

I know my son is driving home from Sacramento the next day, so I have him swing by Best Buy.  They have a set, but it’s more expensive than the set with the DVD player at Target, so I tell him to try Costco instead.  There the clerk finds him a set and insists that it will work, so he buys it.  Upon arrival I check it out and see that it doesn’t have what we need, so it will have to be returned.

At this point the set with the DVD player is looking pretty good, so I head over Target North (since it’s closer) to pick one up.  They don’t stock that set, so it’s back to Target South and the purchase is  finally made.  We get the set back here, unpack it, and put it up…and it looks way too small compared to the other TVs.   It’s several inches shorter, I guess because it is wide-screen and the others are not.  So that’s not going to work.

Pack it up, head back to Target South, where hopefully I can find a 33″ set.  While I’m waiting in line to return the 27″ set I pull my wallet out so I will have my receipt ready.  NO RECEIPT!  Now I start panicking, because I distinctly remember putting it in there.  I’m rifling through my pockets as my turn at the counter comes.  My mind is racing; “did I already file the receipt?”  I didn’t think I had.

I couldn’t return the set without proof of purchase, so I headed back to my truck, trying to replay the events of earlier that morning.  “I must have left it in the truck” I thought to myself.  But a quick search of my vehicle turned up nothing.  “I guess I must have taken it into my office”, I tried to convince myself.

Another quick search of my office turned up nothing.  “I’m losing my mind” was all I could think.  I replayed the entire scene.  I purchased the set at the electronics counter and put the receipt in my wallet.  As I walked to the front of the store I remember thinking “I may have to show my receipt when I exit the store”.  I remember it was in one hand as I left the store, the TV was in the other (those flat panels are light!)

So where did it go from there?  Not in my pockets, not in my wallet, not in my truck…..oh yeah, I was wearing a coat this morning.  Headed outside to my truck, found my coat, and sure enough…there was my receipt! 

By now I had experienced more TV shopping than I could stand, so I asked my wife to return the set and see if she could locate a suitable replacement.  A short time later she sent me a message confirming that she had successfully completed the mission.  HURRAY!

All that was left was to install the set.  As I had originally feared, it wouldn’t fit into the old-fashioned wall mounts we had.  But with a couple of relatively simple modifications and a couple of holes drilled into the TV’s stand we were back in business.  Nothing to it.

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Weekend Reading Material

Bacon ice cream, bacon potato chips, bacon is everywhere it seems.  Celebrity chef  Tim Love says he’s had enough in his blog post Stop the Bacon Insanity.

Ladies, do you ever get frustrated by how easily men can shed pounds?   Here are 7 Ways to Lose Weight Like a Guy

Lastly, a subject that’s been getting a lot of publicity this week, but not much respect from the scientific community.  It’s the study that claims gene test can help determine what kind of diet will work best for you.

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I’m Likin’ It, Bit I’m Not Eatin’ It!

Another Olympics has come and gone, thanks in large part to the financial contributions of The Olympic Partners (TOP).  These huge corporations pay up to $20 million dollars each to be the “official” sponsors of the games, and get to use the Olympic rings in their logo and advertisements.

Visa is the official credit card, Coke is the official soft drink, and McDonalds is the official restaurant.  If you watched any of the telecasts I’m sure you already knew that— their commercials were played over and over every night.  The McDonalds’ spots were particularly memorable.  They had commercials showing Olympic athletes endorsing their products, and another that told kids “you don’t have to be an Olympic athlete to eat like one”.  

Using the most fit and active athletes to promote products is nothing new, but this attempt to link fast food consumption with athletic performance is really pushing the boundaries.  Telling kids that Chicken Nuggets are the preferred food of Olympic athletes is both irresponsible and immoral.  This video is a better representation of what most athletes think of fast food, especially when they’re in training:

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Going for the Big Buzz

Those of you who guzzle your afternoon pick-me-up by the quart will be pleased to note that Starbucks in test marketing a new 32 oz. Trenta size for their iced coffee beverages.

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Now That’s a FUN Run!

Are you a Survivor fan?  CrossFit enthusiast?  Just looking for something wild, crazy, and out of the ordinary?  Here’s something that  you might enjoy then, it’s called Warrior Dash

It’s basically a 5k run with a dozen obstacles thrown in to make it interesting.   They’ll have you scrambling over hay bales, slithering through muddy swamps, and leaping over fire, followed by music and beer at the post-race party. 

There’s a race scheduled for our area next fall, so you have plenty of time to train and to get your costume in order!

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Big Problems with Small Plates

Small plates of Mediterranean inspired foods, what else could you ask for?  Well here’s an amusing little tirade against tapas.

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